Get Your Head in the Game: 5 Mindset Shifts for Your Comeback After 50

I have been thinking a lot about mindset lately. Probably because the longer I work on my own comeback, the more convinced I am that this may be the most important part of the whole thing.

I did a video a while back about finding your why, and I still believe you absolutely need one. If you're trying to make a big change in your life, it helps enormously to know why the heck you're doing it. But here's what I'm figuring out: you can have the best why in the world and still talk yourself right out of doing anything about it.

You can buy the planner. You can join the gym. You can clean out the refrigerator. You can make the budget. You can buy the walking shoes. You can create a 47-tab spreadsheet with goals, milestones and color coding. And if you know me at all, you know I am 100% capable of that last one. I love a great spreadsheet.

But eventually the newness wears off. Life gets busy. Work blows up. You have a bad day. You don't see results as quickly as you wanted. The couch looks really good.

That's when your head has to be in the game.

And I think that's where a real comeback starts.

My Aha Moment Wasn't About My Weight

When I started Comeback Over 50, there wasn't one magical morning when I jumped out of bed and yelled, "I'M HAVING A COMEBACK!" It was much messier than that.

One of the things that really shook me was a bad layoff after spending decades building my career. I've always been a worker. I like accomplishing things. I like solving problems. I like big projects and big ideas. My normal operating speed for most of my adult life has been somewhere around Mach 10 with my hair on fire.

My career was also a huge part of how I saw myself.

Then I got laid off, and it forced me to think about something I hadn't really thought about before: If my job isn't what drives me, what does?

Well, crap.

I didn't have a particularly good answer.

And once I started looking, I saw some other things I didn't particularly like. I was eating terribly. I was sitting on my ass way too much. I wasn't moving my body enough. I had gained a lot of weight. I wasn't taking care of myself in a way that was going to support the life I wanted to have as I got older.

But that still wasn't the biggest aha.

The biggest one was realizing that I had been sitting on the sidelines of my own life.

I wasn't miserable. That's not the story at all. I have an incredible family. I have people I adore. I have so much to be grateful for, and I am.

But being grateful for your life and fully participating in your life aren't necessarily the same thing.

I was doing all the things we're supposed to do. I was working. I was handling things. I was getting stuff done. But where was the passion? Where was the adventure? What was I learning just because I wanted to learn it? What was I creating? What was I looking forward to? Where was the FUN?

I realized that a lot of the joy I felt was missing wasn't because joy had somehow disappeared from my life.

I had stopped going out and meeting it.

That was a big one.

I wanted back in my life.

That was really the beginning of Comeback Over 50, and I talked about it in my very first video.

Watch Why I Started Comeback Over 50

Since then, I've been figuring out what a comeback actually looks like in real life. And the more I do this, the more I think there are five things I need to keep straight in my own head.

Maybe they'll help you too.

1. Figure Out What the Heck Your Comeback Actually Is

This sounds obvious, but I don't think it is.

If I had started this by saying, "My comeback is losing 100 pounds," I would have missed the entire point.

Yes, losing weight is a very real part of my comeback. So is getting stronger. So is eating better. I want to be able to physically do the things I want to do for a very long time, and right now that requires some work.

But I don't want my whole life to become a weight-loss project.

I want to travel. I want adventures. I want to create things. I want to keep learning. I want to build Comeback Over 50 and see where this thing goes. I want passions that have nothing to do with the company I work for or the title on my business card. I want to do things simply because they sound fun.

I want more joy.

I want to participate.

That's my comeback.

So this is the first thing I'd encourage you to do: write yours down.

It doesn't need to be pretty. This isn't homework. Nobody is going to grade your grammar or check whether you used the right pen.

Just write down what you want to change and what you want more of.

If you haven't figured that out yet, I did a whole video on finding your why. That's a great place to start because your comeback gets a lot easier to fight for when you understand why it matters to you.

Watch Find Your Why After 50

Then keep that list somewhere. Because life has a sneaky way of filling every available inch of space, and I don't want to wake up three years from now and realize I've put myself back on the sidelines again.

2. Quit Beating Yourself Up About When You Should Have Started

Oh, we are good at this one.

I should have lost the weight sooner. I should have started saving sooner. I should have changed jobs sooner. I should have taken better care of myself. I should have traveled more. I should have done this at 40.

Maybe.

But unless somebody has invented a time machine and forgotten to tell me about it, this is a completely useless place to spend our energy.

I'm 62.

I cannot start at 42.

I cannot start at 52.

I can start at 62.

And there is something incredibly freeing about finally accepting that.

I'm building a YouTube channel at 62. I'm learning technology I didn't know how to use. I'm putting myself on camera, which is its own adventure. I'm learning more about nutrition and strength. I'm working on losing weight. I'm creating. I'm writing. I'm trying things.

Would some of this have been easier if I'd started earlier? Probably.

So what?

I'm here now.

And I would much rather turn 67 and look back at everything I did for five years than turn 67 wishing I had started at 62.

3. Motivation Is Great. Don't Count on It.

I LOVE motivation.

I love the beginning of things. Give me a brand-new project and I am dangerous.

I've got a notebook. I've got a plan. I've got a spreadsheet. I've probably ordered something from Amazon that is absolutely essential to this new endeavor. There may be a calendar involved. And if I get really excited, God help us all, I may have created a logo.

Then Tuesday comes.

I'm tired. I've been in meetings all day. Something at work has gone sideways. I don't particularly feel like tracking my food, going for a walk or doing anything productive whatsoever.

This is where I'm learning the difference between motivation and mindset.

Motivation says, "LET'S DO THIS!"

Mindset says, "Yeah, I know you're tired. We're still doing something."

Not everything.

Something.

That has been especially important for me with weight loss. I've had great weeks and I've had weeks when the scale has apparently decided it is taking a personal stand against me. I've had days when I've nailed everything and days that haven't gone according to plan.

I'm trying very hard to stop making every imperfect day mean something.

Sometimes Tuesday is just Tuesday.

I don't need to start over. I don't need a new plan. I don't need to declare Monday the beginning of Trish 7.0.

I just need to keep going.

4. Stop Talking to Yourself Like You're the Enemy

This one is a work in progress for me.

I can look at where I am and immediately go to: How did I let myself gain this much weight? Why didn't I deal with this sooner? Why did I spend so much time sitting? Why didn't I...?

And I can probably keep that list going until dinner.

None of it helps.

There is a difference between taking responsibility for where you are and beating the living crap out of yourself for getting there.

I am not interested in pretending everything is wonderful when it isn't. If something in my life needs to change, I want to be able to look at it squarely and say, "Yep. This needs work."

But then I need to get to the useful part.

What am I going to do about it?

I've lost weight before and gained it back. I can use that as proof that I'm doomed to repeat the same cycle forever, or I can use it as information.

What worked? What didn't? Where did I get off track? What am I doing differently now?

My past is data.

And as someone who has spent a career in marketing, give me some data and I can work with that.

The same applies to all of it. A business that didn't work. A relationship that went badly. A fitness plan you abandoned. A class you dropped. Whatever it is.

Learn something from it.

Then stop using it as evidence against yourself.

5. Stop Waiting Until You've “Arrived” to Start Living

This one may be the biggest mindset shift for me.

There is a woman I picture when I think about where this comeback is taking me. She's strong. She's active. She's adventurous. She's creative. She travels. She learns new things. She has passions outside of work. She laughs a lot. She says yes more often. She has things on the calendar that she can't wait to do.

For a while, I think I was putting her somewhere out in the future.

I'll be her when I lose the weight.

I'll be her when I'm stronger.

I'll be her when work isn't so busy.

I'll be her when I retire.

That is exactly how we end up sitting on the sidelines.

I'm done waiting for her.

I can be adventurous before I lose 100 pounds. I can travel now. I can learn something new now. I can make videos now—even while I'm still figuring out how to make videos. I can create. I can make plans. I can go places. I can have fun.

And I can take care of my body now because that's what the woman I'm becoming does.

Maybe that's the biggest lesson in all of this.

You don't finish your comeback and then start living differently. Living differently IS the comeback.

Get Your Head in the Game

So that's where my head is these days.

I know what I'm working toward. I'm trying to stop wasting energy wishing I'd started sooner. I'm learning not to depend on motivation. I'm working on the way I talk to myself. And I'm absolutely done waiting for some future version of Trish to show up before I start enjoying my life.

Am I great at all five of those things every day?

Oh hell no.

I'm having a comeback. I haven't been body-snatched.

But I am paying attention now.

And when I notice myself slipping back into old habits or spending too much time watching instead of participating, I know what that feeling means.

Get your head back in the game, Trish.

Because I spent enough time sitting on the sidelines.

I want the adventure. I want the strength. I want the passion. I want the learning. I want the ridiculous new things I haven't even thought of yet. I want the joy.

And I'm not waiting for someone to hand any of that to me.

I'm going out to meet it.

If you've been sitting on the sidelines too, come on.

We've got stuff to do.

Stronger. Fitter. Braver.

Make today part of your comeback.

Watch the Get Your Head in the Game video